How Blessed

I realize I’ve been a big downer in my last posts.  So… I decided to make a list of the ways I was blessed today.

• The girls were relatively great throughout the whole day, they even went to bed quietly.
• There were several things on sale today that I needed at the store, saving me quite a bit of money.
• I was able to get all my minor cleaning done before it got to late tonight.
• GCI called to let us know our bill was over 900$ because of an error on their end and they needed permission to fix it.

There are many more and these may seem very trivial to some but they really made my day. Saving 4$ on toilet paper was kind of cool too!  lol

Feeling the weight

Of just about everything lately.  Choices past and choices that should be made. I wish sometimes that life were much easier.  Or that I hadn’t made certain mistakes in my past.

Don’t get me wrong I wouldn’t change having my girls for the world, and I love Mike completely. I just find life such a drag lately.  It seems like we can’t get ahead ever.  It seems whenever something goes wrong everything goes wrong.  I’d love to be ‘in the black’ with our finances for longer than just a few days at a time. I have this gut feeling that our rent will go up soon, which will not be good.

I can’t believe I’m actually debating not going to Michigan in October.  Whats the point?  I’ll go there with the girls and love my time there and I’ll enjoy my family.  But then we’ll have to come back.  And I’ll be depressed for weeks afterward.  Wishing I lived back there (like I do now) but it wont change.  I’ll still live 4,000 miles away from them.  So why go?  If I stay then maybe we can put the money we would spend to go into a savings account and maybe someday, ya know like in the next 10 years or something we may be able to get a house. 

I know its bad all over prices wise, so I hate complaining.  It just seems so much worse here. Gas is 4.60 a gallon here.  Which is seriously driving up the cost of food. I went to buy bananas when we were in the store. 1.19 a lb. Hopefully this week I can hit up our local farmers market (its on Wednesday) and get some fruits and veggies.  We’ll see, most of what we end up eating is canned or frozen because produce is so expensive here.

I’m glad I have here to write, since if I talk to Mike about how I feel it just causes more stress for him, and he already does so much. And no one else I really knows completely understands what we’re going thru right now. So atleast I have an outlet.