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I find it truly amazing how fun these girls are. My true heart wandering around outside of me!

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Since August 2010 my youngest two sisters have lived with us. There has been ups and downs and every imaginable mood shift known to females! But I can honestly say that I’ve loved having them here. I had very limited contact with them between Feb 2002 and the time they moved up to live with us. Since then one of them has turned 18 and graduated from High School, and gotten one semester of college under her belt.

Recently she’s taken to being very much not home. Even when she is home she finds ways to avoid us, or picks a fight and hiding in her room. She’s dropped pretty big bombs on our family from time to time. Enough to make you want to scream and yell at her. Then it gets quiet. In the last month we’ve had several blow ups. Now that Christmas is just days away she’s decided to drop another proverbial bomb on us.

Apparently its time for her to move out. At least she believes this. She wants to try new things. I can respect this! It’s hard to be the one with the experience and want to offer advice. The letter she gave me explaining why she’s doing what she’s doing blatantly tells me that she wants nothing to do with my advice or opinions. She’s annoyed by our mother being worried and thus giving her own opinions.

I was in her shoes, sort of but not really back in late 2001 and 2002 before I moved across the country. I’ve made so many mistakes in my past and I’ve owned up to them, asked for forgiveness from God. I just wish that she would listen maybe to some sense. But I feel it will be wasted and fall on deaf ears. I love her to pieces and I want her to make good decisions. I want so much to see her succeed but I think she’s blinded by this boy she’s seeking that she’s stopped to look and see just how much her actions affect the rest of us who care deeply for her.

Moving out, getting married, then moving across the country, then months later becoming separated then divorced was extremely hard. I had no one here, my family was thousand miles away. I was forced to deal with so much so soon. I wish I had listened to my parents and friends sooner. At the time I should have. Though here I am today, three beautiful daughters, a wonderful and loving (though silly most of the time and hard headed) husband, and a home that is finally starting to actually look and feel like home I can’t say that I would change things really. Doesn’t change the fact I wish I had listened.

I don’t believe she’s ready to listen and actually understand my advice. I don’t think she really cares about my opinion. Just wish she would have stopped to talk to me. I wouldn’t have judged her. I’m not mad she’s moving out. I’m so proud of her for all she’s accomplished with what she’s been through. Just wish it went down a little different. Kinda wish that I mattered a little bit.

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