Ugh has it really been a month since I wrote anything on here? Bleah!!  I’m so sorry.

Life in general is pretty crappy for us right now. The bills keep piling up and we can’t get ahead. So there really hasn’t been much to blog about. 

The girls are doing really good. Last week we had a potentially scary thing happen. V being the little copy of me that she is decided it would be nice to introduce her face to the corner of our coffee table. Thankfully it was only just a bit bloody and she ended up with a black eye for a few days. It is starting to look much better now, and we may get lucky with her not even having a scar. 

As if that wasn’t scary enough for me while I was on the phone with Mike explaining what happened and trying to calm down. M tore out of the bathroom, tripped over a toy and introduced her chin to their solid wood toy kitchen. Thankfully we escaped any bleeding on her account and she wound up with just a really nice bruise. 

Really other than our little misadventures in the home we haven’t done much. The weather has gotten warm here, running in the higher 50’s so I have been trying to go through their clothes and pull out the summer stuff. Camping season has finally begun, tonight will be M’s first night out at the campsite with Grandma and Grandpa all by herself. We are going to try to enjoy the few we will get in this summer.

Our families have been plagued with physical illness. It started in September with my dad, that ended last month with the removal of three of his toes. This is the hardest for me to handle seeing as the doctor that first saw him could have had him in for an angioplasty and saved months of pain, suffering and amputation. But no, they gave my dad the run around for months until his toes finally turned black and had to be taken off.

Mike’s mother had to have her gallbladder removed a couple months ago and so it knocked her on her butt for a few weeks. She is finally doing much better from that. But now Mike’s dad is the concern for us. A couple weeks ago he was in for a normal check up when he couldn’t pull himself up out of the waiting room chair and the doctor saw. This is nothing new for us to see because it happens very often, he has diabetes and is nearly 300 pounds. But his doctor thought that there was something else going on, that he shouldn’t be that debilitated that he can’t pull himself out of a chair.

Sure enough his heart is nearly clogged. He is going to have to have a valve replacement and double bypass, possibly more but they haven’t heard all the details yet but it will have to happen soon. So a lot of family illness issues at the moment.

Mike and I are doing okay despite our constant money issues. We are stuck in a hole and are having a seriously hard time trying to find the surface. Drowning in bills and negative bank balances is slowly starting to drive a wedge though. I feel badly that I can’t help. Mike has applied for another job though, we are about a month out from them having a decision. If he doesn’t get picked for the job though then I will pick up a night job, with or with out his approval. We just can not continue down this path. The girls will ultimately suffer and I won’t allow it.

The major blow to my self esteem this month was having to ask my mother in law to buy groceries for us last weekend. I was depressed for several days after it, and am still dealing with it. I have a feeling it will happen again in a few weeks when we yet again are negative and just trying to make ends meet. 

I hate to be so negative in my posts. Our life is just not all sunshine and roses right now. There are points where the happiness can break through and I am so very grateful for those moments. Like seeing the girls happy giggling and wrestling on the floor, or seeing Mike laugh at one of my silly little stories. I am just putting my faith in a higher power to see us through this storm. For so long I haven’t been with all the overwhelming trials we have had to deal with. 

We will get there, how and when is up to God.